Services – Kasi Health Menu
Like a shisanyama menu, but for healing:
Consultations
From flu, chest pains, headaches, stomach cramps to “Doc, why does my knee sound like popcorn?,Why does my bones make noises when I turn?”
Baby Vaccines
Baby cries, mama ululates. Baby leaves kasi-strong.
Chronic Care
Diabetes, BP, asthma — managed stricter than stokvel treasurer.
Family Planning
Pills, injections, condoms — because “oops” is not a family plan.
Antenatal
Preggie mamas, we walk with you till kasi champ arrives.(but don’t eat soil hle 😂)
Tests
HIV, sugar, pregnancy, BP — results faster than salon gossip.
Minor Procedures
Drips, stitches, injections — no Colgate hacks hleng!
Men’s Health
Things not standing? Relax, broer. Even taxis break down. We fix.
Women’s Health
Pap smears, fertility, period pains — sisi, re teng.
Mental Health
Kasi stress is real. From Eskom to mashonisa. We help (but wena pay your mashonisa, we can’t).
Our Twist:
Other clinics = cold, boring, rude, slow (like wrong turn, Saw movie). Matimba = fast & furious + Mission Impossible + Dr Strange — kasi healing that entertains & saves you.